faking it, and faking it good

remember when i said i was going to start exploring lomography a bit more?? well, this is actually cheating since they were taken on my phone, but the vignette application that i got for my droid sure makes it easy to fake it!

the notorious mr. pink

the man

i am happy to report that my mom is doing much better since her knee replacement earlier this week.  she is finally back home as of last night, and i look forward to being able to see her soon.  it's really emotionally draining to have a loved one go through such a major surgery, and then even more so just thinking about the road to full recovery.  as i said before, she also has to have the other knee done soon so it makes that road feel just a bit longer.  i am really excited to see her get back to herself.  being in constant pain definitely has an effect on one's emotional state, and she has been suffering for quite some time now.  it was first recommended that she have both knees replaced 2 years ago, and they have obviously only gotten worse since.  that is a lot of precious time to lose being very limited to how many steps you are able to take before you are unable to take any more due to the incessant, worsening pain.  yay, mom!!  in a few short months we can actually take a walk together again!

speaking of pain, it has become increasingly harder to get up for school each day.  there are a lot of changes that have been made as far as staff goes, and i feel like we are losing all the educators that have actually taught us the most.  the ones that are left over either don't have the level of knowledge, or lack the teaching skills to provide the necessary direction.  i know that cutting and coloring hair probably doesn't seem like rocket science, but there is so much more involved than you will ever know if you have not endured cosmetology school.  at this point i believe it truly is a specialized form of torture.  seriously.  i can't believe that i am only halfway through at this point, and then when i graduate i have apprenticing and assisting to look forward to.  *ugh*  please, please let this all be worth it in the end.  i do love the fact that the beauty and fashion industry is in a persistent state of evolution.  i look forward to all the continuing education, but right now i just want the base to be built so i can move on with my life and start working again.  i actually miss having a dependable source of personal income.  addam has taken very good care of the two of us, but i need to contribute to feel secure within my own self.  i need to be making my own money to feel justified spending it on things that i want, and not just things that i need.  as silly as it may sound, i miss shopping, dammit!

massage happiness

today my friend kyra called me out of the blue to see if she could stop by and say hello.  she recently got back from a trip to hawaii, and i hadn't seen her since a couple weeks before she left.  she came over and i made us some sandwiches and we sat on the porch and caught up.  so super nice.  it was a short visit since she had to get to work, but she told me she was not fully booked for the day and that she would love for me to come in and get some much needed massage.  she also said we could trade a haircut for a massage...woohoo!!  how could i possibly decline that stellar offer??!  so, yay for me, i got a kick-ass massage today.  it couldn't have come at a better time because i slept all funky last night and my neck/shoulder area was really bothering me today.  i have also been having a lot of issues with that same shoulder, arm, wrist, and hand lately, and i think it must have something to do with cutting and coloring hair.  i suppose at some point i will i need to consider regular maintenance so i don't wreck my money-maker.  i mean, if i am only in school now what do i have to look forward to when i am doing it all week long for several more hours than i am now??  yikes.  i also think i need to invest in some ergonomic shears as well.  anybody got an extra $500 laying around (*ouch*)?

this weekend i also finished a project that i have been working on for waaaay too long.  i am too embarrassed to admit how long, so don't even ask.  however, here it is, and i think it turned out beautifully!

                                           

virgin de guadalupe embroidered on the edge of a vintage cotton pillowcase.

the pillowcase already had some cute pink flowers along the edge as well.

monday, monday

today had been an A-MAZINGLY beautiful day!!  according to the weather forecast it will be the last one we have for the next few months of summer hell.  ok, so "few" is an understatement.  it will actually be hot, hot, hot for the next 5 months, but it's best not to think about it this early in the summer.


my mom had knee replacement surgery today, and apparently it went well.  this is something she has been putting off for 2 whole years so i am so happy that she has finally taken the leap.  she is still in recovery at the moment, but when she wakes up she will be in a great deal of pain which really bums me out.  i will be heading up to phoenix next sunday to help her out for a few days during her long recovery process.  good thoughts for a speedy recovery so she will be ready to do it all over again in about 6 weeks.  yup, she has to do the other one as well, but then she will be able to get back to her normal life again.  she will be able to WALK for one, but she will also be able to do yoga again and enjoy everyday activities that we all take for granted.  as most of the women in my family are, my mom is amazingly resilient, and i have every ounce of faith that she will get through this just fine.

taken today in my front yard.

i think the desert gives us these occasional gifts so we can forgive it for being so relentlessly miserable for 5-6 months out of the year ;)

thrifty score

HAPPY SUNDAY!!!


for everything that tucson is lacking, i have to admit that you can score some pretty sweet vintage finds here.  i have nabbed several vintage beaded sweaters and adorable dresses at a fraction of the cost you would pay in bigger cities.


i have been searching for the perfect pair of cowboy boots since i moved here.  although the search continues for the "perfect" pair, in the meantime i would like to present my latest tucson thrift store bargain...drum roll, please.

awesome red cowboy boots for only $28 from tucson thrift!

i have to admit, the thrifting is definitely one of the few things i will miss when i leave tucson. 

bow-tastic

i would totally buy these...

vision thing

so as i was driving to work this morning i had somewhat of an epiphany.  when i first moved to this ol' desert from the lush surroundings of the northwest all i could see was brown.  brown dirt, brown bushes, brown buildings, brown everything!  aside from the sporadic drive through the mountain park, or up the road to mount lemon where there are actually pine trees, i had a hard time even noticing that the cactus were actually green.  the green that i did see appeared washed out, or faded by the oppressive fireball in the sky.  well, all of a sudden today i realized that i can finally see the signs of life around town in the form of green trees, plants, and flowers.  i feel that it must mean that i have been here so long that my eyes have adjusted to the bleached out flora that exists here in the wild west.  i can actually see the beauty in my everyday surroundings for the first time in a very long time.  however, i still point and scream "GRASS!!" every time we pass a golf course or a park...two of the very few places where you can actually experience the luxury of such here in tucson.  people are very militant about not wasting water on lawns (pshhhh! they obviously have no idea how worth it it would be), but i wish everyday that we had just a small patch in our backyard to dig our bare toes into instead of the layers of sharp rocks that we do have.  ahhh, yes, it is the simple things in life which we must revel.  unfortunately, when we spend so much time wanting things to be different from what is possible we will only set ourselves up for disappointment.  this is why i have to be okay with what we have at this point in time, and i keep reminding myself that it is only temporary.  the rocks, just like our lives here in tucson, are only temporary.


on another colorful note, i picked some tiny strawberries today from my "porch patch" that i planted a few weeks ago.  they were so cute and sweet tasting...yum!  hopefully the beets that i planted will be able to mature as well instead of shriveling up in the boiling june temperatures.  we'll see...

darlingtonia moccasins

oh my, these moccasins are just too stinkin' cute!!  katie makes these lovelies with her very own two hands in northern california on an antique singer 29k sewing machine.  she is a photographer by trade who earned her bfa in fine art, and you can certainly tell from the beautiful photos she has posted on her etsy store.
check these and more out at:  darlingtonia.etsy.com

                        

              

things that make you go hmmmm...

ok, so what is it that keeps me from recording my daily, or even weekly events, thoughts, or inspirations in this blog?  i have several blogs that i follow, and i feel like i know these women on a personal level as if they were close friends of mine.  what is it that makes them ok with sharing so many facets of their lives with complete strangers?  what is their motivation to express their feelings in such an open and honest format?  presently i am having difficulty finding time outside of my current responsibilities to do much of anything extracurricular, let alone keep an online memoir of my somewhat mundane life.  i am beginning to think that it is the fact that i am not particularly happy with my life that may be causing me my blogging apprehension.  however, i have decided to approach it from more of a therapeutic standpoint.  maybe if i can start writing it all down only then can i begin to understand more about myself.


i have recently come to terms with the malaise i am experiencing lately in my life.  in comparison to some, my life certainly is not that bad when inspected with a wide lens.  i have a roof over my head, friends and family that care about me, and a husband who works his ass off to make sure that we have everything we need.  however, when you take a look through the microscopic lens things are not all peaches and cream.  the roof that is over our heads happens to be in tucson where we have been for over the past 2 years and i am still as unsettled and miserable as i was since the day i arrived in this hot hell of a town.  the majority of the friends that my husband and i both have do not live here which means that the support system that we do have is considerably smaller and less reliable (no offense to the few friends that i do have here).  as are so many other people  in this country, my parents are suffering through some very serious financial woes at the moment, and i am so concerned that the problems they are having cannot be resolved without taking drastic measures to do so.  i worry about their future on a daily basis.  that husband that works so hard to take good care of us is never around because he works anywhere from 12-14 hours a day, sometimes 6+ days a week.  although he makes more than enough money for us to live comfortably, we still struggle paycheck to paycheck trying to pay off an astronomical debt that feels like we can never put a sizable dent into.  it's the american way, right?  this is how everybody lives, right?  all of this combined creates a constant air of stress in our lives.  when addam is around he is not very present because he is so exhausted from working so much.  he is grumpy and mean and very quick to blame me for the tension that exists between us due to the fact that we spend very little time together.  sometimes i feel like i hardly recognize him from the man that i fell in love with and married.  since i am going to school, and only working very minimally i feel guilty a majority of the time for not being able to contribute more.  i can't wait to graduate and start working again, but then that creates a whole new handful of anxiety for me.  i am 33-years-old and entering into a very young industry.  i think i have legitimate concerns about being able to attain the level of success i am hoping for.  some people in this industry don't make it for at least 10 years, and i have some very lofty expectations of being able to be in a good space financially within 5 years.  i think that if i work hard enough, and want it bad enough that it will happen for me.  i just need to stay focused and positive, but it can be hard when you feel like everything around you is collapsing.  *sigh*  just breathe, right?


on a more positive note, addam recently got a whole 3 days off in a row a couple weeks ago (sooo rare), and we went to san diego for the long weekend.  it felt great to be near the water again, and to smell and feel the cool ocean breeze.  i miss living near the water more than ever now, but am unsure if i could move back to the doom and gloom of the northwest.  could san diego, or even los angeles be a good place for us??

addam and lola 

cute, little french cafe in downtown sand diego

and this is what i wish i was wearing today...how can i find out immediately when the good stuff comes out at target so i don't miss it???

anna sui for target

jimmy-choo wedges

and this is my obsession for the day...matryoshka doll accessories.  i see a cute new tattoo in my future.  the permanent accessory!

juicy couture charm

http://www.etsy.com/listing/6355203/matryoshka-doll-necklace

chanel necklace

chanel wrist clutch